One evening in New York City, I watched a family of tourists giving their Italian leftovers to a man encamped under a breezeway along busy Broadway. Okay, that’s a nice thing to do. But then I watched in horror as the well-intentioned mom gave her 9-year-old son another styrofoam container, “Okay, now go stand right by him and let me take your picture.”

I don’t want to second guess her intentions, but I am confident I don’t want to teach my kids compassion that way. Seems like it was more about showing-off than it was about genuinely sharing a “plate of lasagna in Jesus’ name.”

Whether we live in the crowded streets of urban cities, in quiet suburbs, or in small hometowns, there are people who need the care of Jesus. How do we help our children develop a heart for those in need of basic human resources, fresh water, a warm blanket, or just a kind word? How do we help them understand others’ feelings and perspectives? Ultimately, how do we instill a sense of empathy and kindness that roots deep in their hearts to stay with them as they grow?

I am certain there is no formula for raising compassionate kids. But there are some key principles. Here are five key strategies to guide children in developing a heart of compassion.

1. Model Compassionate Behavior

Children often imitate what they see. If you regularly demonstrate compassion, your child will learn through your actions. Whether helping a neighbor, being kind to strangers, or showing patience during stressful moments, children observe how you handle different situations. Show them that being compassionate is a natural and essential part of life. Simple actions, like thanking someone sincerely or offering help to those in need, teach children what it means to be kind and considerate.

2. Encourage Empathy

Empathy is a crucial element of compassion. Helping your child understand how others feel teaches them to care beyond their own needs. You can foster empathy by asking questions that encourage them to think about others’ perspectives, such as, “How do you think your friend feels when they’re upset?” or “How do you think that man holding up the ‘Hungry’ signs feels?” Follow that up with, “Is there something we can do about that?” These conversations help children see the world through someone else’s eyes and recognize that their actions have an impact on others.

3. Practice Active Listening

Listening is a key part of compassion. Teach your child to listen to others without interrupting and to acknowledge others’ feelings. For example, when talking to a friend, encourage them to listen closely and respond thoughtfully. This teaches them that everyone’s voice and feelings matter. Active listening helps children develop deeper, more meaningful connections with others, promoting a more compassionate outlook. It helps them to look beyond someone’s clothing, hairstyle, or home situation and see a real person with feelings, emotions, and needs. The best place to practice this? At the dinner table. (And from one parent to another, that dinner table can be McDonald’s, In-N-Out, or Taco Bell.)

4. Promote Acts of Kindness

Encouraging children to engage in small acts of kindness helps them experience the joy of giving. Whether it’s sharing toys, helping a classmate, or participating in family or community volunteer activities, acts of kindness are concrete ways for children to practice compassion. Praise them when they do something kind, reinforcing the importance of these behaviors.

To be transparent, my kids didn’t always enjoy sharing, but we kept practicing. They are human, after all. I don’t always enjoy sharing my ice cream either.

5. Teach Gratitude and Reflection

Compassion goes hand in hand with gratitude. Regularly talk to your children about what they are thankful for, and help them understand how others contribute to their well-being. This is easy to do at bedtime with one simple question, “What’s one thing you are thankful for today?”

When children appreciate the kindness they receive, they are more likely to extend that kindness to others. Reflection can also deepen their understanding of how their actions impact those around them.

By teaching children compassion, you equip them with the emotional tools to build healthier relationships and contribute positively to their communities. Compassion enriches their lives and fosters a more caring and connected world.

Remember, you’re playing the long game.

Every year, my church builds a home for a family in Tecate, Mexico. Entire families from our church spend four days pouring slabs, raising frames, and mixing stucco. There is something for everyone of every age, from toddlers to grandparents.

We go right after Christmas, so there’s a lot of hustle and bustle. Kids leave their brand-new toys and their newly acquired video games behind. It’s not always easy getting them packed and out the door. I’m sure you can imagine the scene, just two days after Christmas.

One year, as 6-year-old Tyler was getting pushed out of the house, he finally expressed with great frustration and complete transparency, “Why do we have to help these people anyway? They don’t care where they sleep!”

Go ahead, chuckle. He was just a 1st grader.

Tyler is now 24. Guess where he spends his time every year between Christmas and New Year’s? Yep. In Tecate, building a house for a family needing a two-room, stable, warm home.

Bottom line: Children will catch our compassion if we are consistent in our own actions and in the opportunities we give them. So, don’t give up, parents! Someday, your kids will grow into thoughtful, caring individuals. They will foster a more caring world, one small act of kindness at a time.

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We’ve developed a Kids Activity Booklet to help your children learn about the needs of kids like them in South Asia. Here’s your copy.